Jim Gaffigan Explains Why Southerners Are Slow


  1. Big Bubba

    Big BubbaDay ago

    It’s not the biscuits and gravy, it’s the heat.

  2. Praben

    Praben5 days ago

    I'm obsessed with him after seeing him performed in Poughkeepsie a couple of weeks ago. So funny

  3. Gael Marconi

    Gael Marconi7 days ago

    Southerners need to be more responsible with thier pets. Animal welfare is terrible in the southern states.

  4. monalisasmoustache

    monalisasmoustache12 days ago

    It's not the biscuit and gravy, it's the heat and humidity.

  5. DecksterPenkor

    DecksterPenkor14 days ago

    Grew up in Louisiana. Can't stand tea...hot, cold, sweet, whatever. COFFEE please. And no crayfish either!

  6. Stellar Seven

    Stellar Seven14 days ago

    This is literally "obsessed"

  7. chuck love

    chuck love15 days ago

    I'd like to see some little black dude knock both their damn teeth out .

  8. chuck love

    chuck love15 days ago

    It's not about the Jews -- it only took them ten thousand books to write the ten Conmen

  9. chuck love

    chuck love15 days ago

    Yankees are slow because they've allowed the Jews take away their culture , their jobs , their faith in Jesus Christ and turn them into a bunch of FOOLS

  10. 47Str8

    47Str817 days ago

    He had me at deep fried....

  11. ineedmycoco goldfish

    ineedmycoco goldfish17 days ago

    Is it just me or is Jim’s mustache crooked

  12. Vincent Mileto

    Vincent Mileto25 days ago

    I know of many , far left winged, christian bashing, unborn murdering, fascist idiots right here in the NY metropolitan area.

  13. Vincent Mileto

    Vincent Mileto25 days ago

    Because they are less stressed than living in the big cities!

  14. Jasper Jenkins

    Jasper Jenkins27 days ago

    They are so slow down here it takes em an hour and a half to watch "60 minutes"...

  15. Jasper Jenkins

    Jasper Jenkins27 days ago

    I moved from Detroit to Georgia. I only eat at the Waffle House and I ALWAYS order gravy and peppers over hash browns. I've eaten more gravy in 6 months than I have in the past 5 decades.

  16. cfroi08

    cfroi0829 days ago

    We do have the energy to rise again, serving yankie cold unsweet tea and saying biscuits are cookies is enough to make us rise and think that they ain't right. But we'll never send a complaint because that waiter was goshdang nice to us and bless his heart, he can't help that he works in an uncivilized restaurant.

  17. Robert Lewis

    Robert Lewis29 days ago

    He's right about the food. Grease, butter, and salt are the three pillars of life.

  18. james bell

    james bellMonth ago

    The Southern diet i.e. black eyed peas, biscuits and gravy came about as a result of being invaded and having all our other food taken or destroyed by the yankees raping pillaging and murdering families in their homes. We grew black eyed peas as winter food for the farm animals. Nobody ate peas like we do today. Now we cant get enough chicken and dumplings. You mean dead chicken n soggy biscuits. How about pig knuckles

  19. themarbleking

    themarblekingMonth ago

    Southerners aren’t dumb but they go church a lot! Go figure!

  20. Joshua Werner

    Joshua WernerMonth ago

    It's because they all have pinworm from walking outside barefoot.

  21. Wolf Thorn

    Wolf ThornMonth ago

    "Boom!.... sour dough bitches." That's my opening line, at the all night cafe. Works every time.

  22. Raven Tale

    Raven TaleMonth ago

    Jim actually mocks Conan O'brien, in his own comedy standup show saying: "Why do some people look at me and think: "he looks like he'd like some hatred" because Jim Gaffigan, isn't a racist, he was totally clear about that in his own comedy stand up, so funny...;-)

  23. McFLY B. Roadz

    McFLY B. RoadzMonth ago

    Cinnamon roll 😂

  24. Fred McCraven

    Fred McCravenMonth ago

    southern cooking may be unhealthy but damn does it taste good

  25. albert forlini stucco and concrete

    albert forlini stucco and concreteMonth ago

    Guys that are wealthy pretending they're middle class ,so that is tragically funny .

  26. wade rivers

    wade riversMonth ago

    And Muslims can’t joke about these things. Try doing this act in Saudi Arabia about Mohammed and see what happens. I’m a southerner and love his jokes, too bad about the social justice warriors are ruining comedy in this country. Man, a lot of people need to wake up.

  27. Lauren Brown

    Lauren BrownMonth ago

    I’m a northerner and was shocked when a nice man started taking to me at the gas station...... I live in the south now and appreciate how family oriented and involved the community is... people are so nice.

  28. mano a mano

    mano a manoMonth ago

    "I don't wanna look like I can't finish it..."

  29. Michael Sokolowski

    Michael SokolowskiMonth ago

    I went to a Piggly Wiggly when I was in South Carolina. Went to the deli counter and requested a pound of ham sliced thin. I'm still there.

  30. charles scrawl

    charles scrawlMonth ago

    He been telling this joke for years,Dude needs some new material.

  31. Diva Mom

    Diva MomMonth ago

    Yup!! He meant you’re a D Yankee!!! Some say to a yankee: “the South WILL Rise Again!”

  32. Diva Mom

    Diva MomMonth ago

    TEXAN HERE!! We say “I’m fixing to go.....”. When someone leaves “y’all be careful.” Paula Abdul said that “was making a threat” on American Idol to a southerner!!! Hate “wal-martS”. “KrogerS” Everyone says “coke” for all drinks. Go down yonder, turn right!” Roof is “ruff” in Texas! “My dogs are barking!!” Feet hurt!

  33. kirby smith

    kirby smithMonth ago

    this guy sucks. got booted from one of his shows for taking too long to get to my seat and heckling

  34. DPW

    DPWMonth ago

    Oh, he was on a roll there alright! Super funny! And he does make Conando look Puerto Rican!

  35. Yahul Wagoni

    Yahul WagoniMonth ago

    What matters is what a man says, not how long it takes him to say it.

  36. Lucien Skye

    Lucien SkyeMonth ago

    It doesn’t take five minutes to say “cause they stupid.”

  37. cmacdhon

    cmacdhonMonth ago

    "According to Jim, the South will never rise again" When did it ever rise in the first place??

  38. Alan Leonard

    Alan LeonardMonth ago

    got it....he's a tourist

  39. Sean Denny

    Sean DennyMonth ago

    We are not slow you fecking pretentious waste of space that your mother should have swallowed. It's people like you who are trying to destroy out southern culture which is way more advanced than your backwater wherever you come from.

  40. Jack Witcombe

    Jack WitcombeMonth ago

    I love this guy

  41. Steven Steelman

    Steven SteelmanMonth ago

    We talk slow & sweet and drive fast Yankees talk to damn fast and drive slow. In comes a Yankee slicker with a big ole Southern grin..

  42. Your Conscience

    Your ConscienceMonth ago

    Gaffigan is a truly intelligent stand up, unlike most others he does not need to resort to vulgarity and racism to make people laugh.

  43. Ed Ed

    Ed EdMonth ago

    Let’s make the obligatory leftist jokes against white people because white people have no rights. Late night television is 100% trash.

  44. Osaka78

    Osaka78Month ago

    Mega funny :)

  45. joseph Howell

    joseph HowellMonth ago

    Southerners are more polit than uppity new yorkers. I personally despise the yankees that think their smarter and richer than southerners

  46. Rex Darby

    Rex DarbyMonth ago

    You think southerners are slow huh? Come to work with me bud, you would be burn out by 10 o’clock am.

  47. Megyn Kelly

    Megyn KellyMonth ago

    (((Jim Gaffigan)))

  48. Buck Naked

    Buck NakedMonth ago

    Southern gas stations serve better food than northern resturants

  49. Bruce McBain

    Bruce McBainMonth ago

    Jim is terrific! It took me a couple of minutes to recover so I could type this. Just convulsed with laughter.

  50. Timothy McDonald

    Timothy McDonaldMonth ago

    On a serious note: Life just plays out a little bit slower for some of us. We all end up in the same place, but the life we have here is dictated by our own whims!

  51. Stephen Rooney

    Stephen RooneyMonth ago


  52. Mark Haswell

    Mark HaswellMonth ago

    I love Conan's reaction at 2:45.

  53. Isaac Ezekiel The color blind guy

    Isaac Ezekiel The color blind guyMonth ago

    We will rise again and we’re coming for your ass

  54. Alabama Woodsman

    Alabama WoodsmanMonth ago

    Too funny.

  55. Mimi M

    Mimi MMonth ago

    Southern states have MUCH higher rates of deaths from child abuse per capita. I mean like 3 or more times as many children die from abuse as in northern states, per capita. So if the South is so "nice," what's that all about? Good Southern parenting? They aren't slow when they're killing their kids, apparently.

  56. Mimi M

    Mimi MMonth ago

    +Bama Belle It's pretty well established. For example, here's a map with statistics from 2006: ourtimes.wordpress.com/2008/08/12/united-states-unicef-crc/#child_deaths Texas is 5th in the nation in per capita deaths from child abuse, behind 4 other Southern/Bible Belt states. Scroll down a bit to see the map. Table 4-2 in this publication shows the rate of death per 100,000 children due to child abuse, by state. You have to scroll to the page numbered 59 for that table. The conservative Southern states win again! www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/cb/cm2016.pdf#page=67

  57. Bama Belle

    Bama BelleMonth ago

    Where did you get your statistics?

  58. Delta Dog

    Delta DogMonth ago

    I’m Southern and I love good joke 😂😂

  59. Sideshow Bob

    Sideshow Bob2 months ago

    Southerners are mentally slow as well.

  60. Najat57

    Najat572 months ago

    "They're essentially eating piñatas"... dying

  61. Chim Chim Panda

    Chim Chim Panda2 months ago

    Boom! Garlic knots.

  62. dourtan

    dourtan2 months ago

    Laissez -faire bro! Oh, and the South shall rise again even with our statues down.

  63. Tyler Smith

    Tyler Smith2 months ago

    LOL and no one from the south would get up in arms about this joke because they can take one

  64. Marie J

    Marie J2 months ago

    He is ridiculously funny. Why should we all try to become righteous NOW? 2 Peter 2:4-9 (NIV) For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but sent them to HELL, putting them in chains of darkness to be held for judgment; if he did not spare the ancient world when he brought the flood on its UNGODLY people, but protected Noah, a preacher of righteousness, and seven others; if he condemned the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah by BURNING THEM TO ASHES, and made them an example of WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO THE UNGODLY; and if he rescued Lot, a righteous man, who was distressed by the depraved conduct of the lawless (for that righteous man, living among them day after day, was tormented in his righteous soul by the lawless deeds he saw and heard)- if this is so, then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials and to hold the UNRIGHTEOUS for PUNISHMENT on the day of judgment. I know it is hard to do what is right all the time, but I want to warn you, so that you have time to change. Love ya!

  65. Five Cents Matter

    Five Cents Matter2 months ago

    Ugh pumpernickel is the worst type of bread ever. This is a fact people.

  66. Five Cents Matter

    Five Cents MatterMonth ago

    RY SMITH Thank you!

  67. RY SMITH

    RY SMITHMonth ago


  68. D. Lawrence

    D. Lawrence2 months ago

    Southern food may be deadly, but it's the most DELICIOUS cuisine I've ever eaten. The biscuits! The caramel pound cake! The sweet potato pie! The hot chicken! The fried catfish! The pecan pie! The jambalaya! I get why the most overweight states are in the South. Food is too damn good to resist.

  69. Elvis Edge RR Woodward

    Elvis Edge RR Woodward2 months ago

    I Love Food,Too! From SC....

  70. Doug H. in VA

    Doug H. in VA2 months ago

    Jokes about Jesus are blasphemy. They are not funny and a joke can be made about nearly every other person on earth. But Jesus Christ was not just another guy on earth. Whether you put any stock in the Bible and Christianity... you can still be wrong.

  71. dstbac07

    dstbac072 months ago

    He's my favorite and a clean comedian. Love his humor and he is so on point with real life issues.

  72. Martin Barquero

    Martin Barquero2 months ago

    You know, reading the comments I see all these people from the south defending themselves why they are "slow "....just shut up! Lol enjoy the joke, it was funny! Thanks to all the other southerners that appreciated the " joke " !

  73. Ayden O'Shaughnessy

    Ayden O'Shaughnessy2 months ago

    We're slow because we grew up savoring every minute of life

  74. Alexander Shamis

    Alexander Shamis2 months ago

    I was in the Navy also. The reason the guys from the South were smart is due to Navy standards. In the 60's they allowed a 100,000 of inbred tards on active duty they were called McNamara's Men. Very bad outcome.The ASVAB measures intellect. A dumbass will not make it.

  75. Heather Fitzgerald

    Heather Fitzgerald2 months ago

    I'm southern. I'm not slow. I'm not nice. And, I don't value anyone's opinion on here enough to defend myself.

  76. Andrew Nash

    Andrew Nash2 months ago

    Does he love food because he's fat or is he fat because he loves food?

  77. Regina Philangee

    Regina Philangee2 months ago

    We moved from East coast to Texas recently. Southerners are nicer and they only seem slow because they are calmer and laid back.

  78. Dachdog

    Dachdog2 months ago

    Jim, trust me, you're not LatinA. You're Latino.

  79. Chubbz Makenzi

    Chubbz Makenzi2 months ago

    Jesus could've been fat as hell (no pun intended), because as we all know from Scott Pilgrim...bread makes you fat.

  80. Russell Solomon

    Russell Solomon2 months ago

    I do declare that biscuits & gravy give me the vapors!

  81. sissy j Williams

    sissy j Williams2 months ago

    I so offended! I never eat gravy & biscuits. I purfur chocolate & biscuits hot enough to melt butter in it. & no,I'm not fat so save it. By the way, my 7yr old grandson writes computer code.

  82. GRAWLIX 19xx

    GRAWLIX 19xx2 months ago

    Theyre nice to him. I lived in the south. Not so much to brown folks.

  83. Carl Stoeffler

    Carl Stoeffler2 months ago

    3 kinds of yankees,yankees stay up north.Damn yankees come down south and visit.GODDAMN yankees come down here and never leave.

  84. Dan Sharov

    Dan Sharov2 months ago

    He is like a bleached James Corden

  85. Coconut Bomber

    Coconut Bomber2 months ago

    The south will rise again

  86. Daniel Johnston

    Daniel Johnston3 months ago

    The phrase " southern hospitality" is a real thing. The people down south are naturally nice. Northerners are angry, rude , no patience, you can feel it in the air around them.

  87. Kim Winders

    Kim Winders3 months ago

    I so appreciate how funny he is without having to swear or be shockingly disgusting. He is my favorite comedian.

  88. Vincent Ciccone

    Vincent Ciccone3 months ago

    people are nicer in the south, its a fact. Virginia!!!

  89. Adryen Lyn

    Adryen Lyn3 months ago

    Ahh back when the country was aight.

  90. Z Damon

    Z Damon3 months ago

    These are jokes from his 2nd to last album I think it was. I love him and he is hilarious but damn he repeats his jokes

  91. OMB Pies

    OMB Pies3 months ago

    who came here thinking he was referring to their brains ?? (ahem! question from a southern one of course)

  92. sasquatch***1 234

    sasquatch***1 2343 months ago

    Garlic knots....a side of 2 barrels of wine!!! What could be better?

  93. itheuser First

    itheuser First3 months ago

    Southerners are callous. Like insects.

  94. Phil L

    Phil L3 months ago

    The War of Northern Aggression is the reason for the continual Southern bashing. No, the war was not fought for slavery which existed everywhere in the world including North America. Moral platitudes are offered for all wars as a rationalization. We are killing for freedom, we are killing for liberty..it just goes on and on.

  95. Phil L

    Phil L2 months ago

    +ergle lergle Slavery did not cause this war - an agricultural tax did. It is documented. This is why slaves were only freed as a last resort to win the war and why slaves in the North were not freed. Lincolns own words echo this..should I quote them for you?

  96. Phil L

    Phil L2 months ago

    What makes you think I haven't read them? What makes you think I'm merely Southern? You have a character in your head which has been built for you of those who disagree with you but it is not accurate, my friend.

  97. ergle lergle

    ergle lergle2 months ago

    +Phil L read the speeches and documents for yourself, stop taking someone else's opinion as truth. Burns is human, his stuff is pretty good in many ways but he has a slant. Why do you fear looking at what the players actually said and did? Southern laziness?

  98. Phil L

    Phil L2 months ago

    +ergle lergle Once again, every historian in Ken Burns documentary, Black and White, said the war wasn't about slavery. Lincolns words echoed this. I'm not sure what you are talking about. One day you will realize that you have been lied to just like me. I have lived in both the North and South of America, so go with that my earnest friend.

  99. ergle lergle

    ergle lergle2 months ago

    +Phil L if you think reading original source documents are the media then you reveal your lack of comprehension of simple terms. Are you afraid to read the words, in context and completely, of the southerners involved? Whatever they did, good or bad, is no reflection on you. Pluck up your courage and engage in intellectual honesty.

  100. Imrahil

    Imrahil3 months ago

    Ahh yes, I am very fond of bread humor

  101. Richard Conner

    Richard Conner3 months ago


  102. okrajoe

    okrajoe3 months ago

    Great, now I'm hungry for some biscuits.

  103. Calvin Franklin

    Calvin Franklin3 months ago


  104. Stewart Ellis

    Stewart Ellis3 months ago

    From Mississippi. Dudes on point. We all eat horribly.

  105. maxthereof

    maxthereof3 months ago

    I guess I don't need to go watch his stand-up now he just did his routine on Conan z z z

  106. The Internet Killed Music

    The Internet Killed Music3 months ago

    Seems like a nice guy but he is not funny enough to be this hyped and forced upon everyone. Although it makes a change from Bill Burr.

  107. Celena Oxley

    Celena Oxley3 months ago

    He is my favorite comedian. Celena from Trinidad 🇹🇹!

  108. Tristan Hand

    Tristan Hand3 months ago

    This guy is stupid I learned how to work a microwave at the age of 4. We southerners don't talk like old people. We are hard yet fast workers we make cotton so that ya'll don't walk the streets naked so if your going to say harsh things about us than walk the streets naked. You are most likely a liberal working with the Illuminati. You are not right to judge were we are born and how we do things if you only took a 3 day trip to the south. I'm 13 and i typed this in about 15 sec.

  109. ergle lergle

    ergle lergle2 months ago

    You're going to need to learn how to handle jokes or you're going to be angry your whole life.

  110. Bleeding Eye Watcher

    Bleeding Eye Watcher3 months ago

    I’m a northerner who recently moved to the south, and literally everything he’s saying here is true. It’s funny because it’s 100% true. Except for the friendly part.